 | Perhaps you've experienced the "beach wisdom" that the tighter we grasp dry sand in our hand, the more likely the sand will fall through our fingers. The way to hold sand is to cup it gently. Lots of things work that way. (For instance, wise parents know that about their adult children.) It's not exactly the same with what we call holy – the sacred, spirit, God – but it's close. |
By Rabbi David Evan Markus
P. Vaethanan 5786 (2026)
Beachgoers, especially the young and young-at-heart, know this "beach wisdom" well. Try to hold dry sand tightly by the fist. The tighter one grips the sand, the more likely it will slip through. We can hold onto more sand by cupping it gently.
Wise parents have similar wisdom about their adult children. Spiritual life can be like that, too. We hold traditions, but gently so they can evolve. We hold ourselves, but gently so we can evolve. We hold ideas, but gently lest they calcify or become brittle.
And what of the holy – the sacred, the Infinite, spirit, God? How do we hold them?
This week's Torah portion asks that question directly. After Moses recounts our ancestors' past rebellions that culminated in great losses, Moses observes (Deut. 4:4):
P. Vaethanan 5786 (2026)
Beachgoers, especially the young and young-at-heart, know this "beach wisdom" well. Try to hold dry sand tightly by the fist. The tighter one grips the sand, the more likely it will slip through. We can hold onto more sand by cupping it gently.
Wise parents have similar wisdom about their adult children. Spiritual life can be like that, too. We hold traditions, but gently so they can evolve. We hold ourselves, but gently so we can evolve. We hold ideas, but gently lest they calcify or become brittle.
And what of the holy – the sacred, the Infinite, spirit, God? How do we hold them?
This week's Torah portion asks that question directly. After Moses recounts our ancestors' past rebellions that culminated in great losses, Moses observes (Deut. 4:4):
| וְאַתֶּם֙ הַדְּבֵקִ֔ים בַּיהו''ה אֱלֹהֵיכֶ֑ם חַיִּ֥ים כֻּלְּכֶ֖ם הַיּֽוֹם׃ | And you, who held fast to YHVH your God, you all are alive today. |
Nope. We can't literally "hold" God any more than we can literally "follow" God, which Torah also calls us to do in the same way that we are to "hold" God (Deut. 13:5).
So what do these words really ask of us? Jewish spiritual tradition offers two answers:
Answer #1: Act godly. Talmud's rabbis offered that we "hold" and "follow" godly attributes by doing our best to imitate godly action (B.T. Sotah 14a). We care (God clothed Adam and Eve, so we clothe the naked). We show compassion (God visited Abraham when he was sick, so we visit the sick). We extend empathy (God comforted Isaac grieving his father, so we comfort mourners). We show up with piety (God buried Moses, so we bury the dead).
Attributes we associate with the sacred – patience, creativity, love, rightness, ethics, resilience, justice, integrity, etc. – are for us to emulate as much as we can.
Answer #2: Melt into spirit. Spiritual revivalists in the 18th century offered that Torah's "hold" in the original Hebrew (devekut) means to "glue." Devekut is to "glue" ourselves to God in consciousness, thought, feeling and identity. It's a profound spiritual experience to be in such rapturous love with God that, even for an instant, we feel ourselves melt into God.
For most of us, Answer #1 is easier and less risky than Answer #2. It's easier to act concretely in the world than to fully immerse in spirit. But if you've lost yourself in a beloved's gaze, or felt yourself melt into the awe of a sunset, then you've experienced a bit of what devekut is like.
And, the second you think about it, the experience abates. We can't think about it and do it at the same time. It's like my friend R. Bella Bogart says of singing: "If you think you're singing when you're singing, you're not singing." To really sing is to so fully be in singing that self-consciousness falls away.
Put another way, we hold ourselves gently so we can fully experience the world beyond self. Maybe that's what it means to hold God, and fully live.
So what do these words really ask of us? Jewish spiritual tradition offers two answers:
Answer #1: Act godly. Talmud's rabbis offered that we "hold" and "follow" godly attributes by doing our best to imitate godly action (B.T. Sotah 14a). We care (God clothed Adam and Eve, so we clothe the naked). We show compassion (God visited Abraham when he was sick, so we visit the sick). We extend empathy (God comforted Isaac grieving his father, so we comfort mourners). We show up with piety (God buried Moses, so we bury the dead).
Attributes we associate with the sacred – patience, creativity, love, rightness, ethics, resilience, justice, integrity, etc. – are for us to emulate as much as we can.
Answer #2: Melt into spirit. Spiritual revivalists in the 18th century offered that Torah's "hold" in the original Hebrew (devekut) means to "glue." Devekut is to "glue" ourselves to God in consciousness, thought, feeling and identity. It's a profound spiritual experience to be in such rapturous love with God that, even for an instant, we feel ourselves melt into God.
For most of us, Answer #1 is easier and less risky than Answer #2. It's easier to act concretely in the world than to fully immerse in spirit. But if you've lost yourself in a beloved's gaze, or felt yourself melt into the awe of a sunset, then you've experienced a bit of what devekut is like.
And, the second you think about it, the experience abates. We can't think about it and do it at the same time. It's like my friend R. Bella Bogart says of singing: "If you think you're singing when you're singing, you're not singing." To really sing is to so fully be in singing that self-consciousness falls away.
Put another way, we hold ourselves gently so we can fully experience the world beyond self. Maybe that's what it means to hold God, and fully live.
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