 | Whatever our age, character and inclinations, we can't help but inhabit our memory. All that we have experienced in life shapes us through the lens of what we remember of our past experience, ourselves and other people. And whatever our age, character and inclinations, memory has a hidden way of reflecting ourselves back at us. This truth becomes especially important as the introspective Season of Meaning approaches. |
By Rabbi David Evan Markus
Parashat Devarim 5786 (2026)
Torah's final book fulfills its English title: Deuter-(second) -onomy (telling). Deuteronomy is Moses' "second telling" of the 40-year journey to the Promised Land now nearly complete. Moses recaps what happened along the way, giving the people his final charge – and rebukes for their penchant to act out.
But Moses' "second telling" did not repeat with perfect accuracy what came before.
What happened before didn't quite happen as Moses says now. Compared to his younger days, the Moses of Deuteronomy toggles between more bitter and more loving, more angry and more forgiving. Moses' shifting inner lenses color his recall, so his "second telling" shifts his narrative of what happened before. Moses even subtly changes the Ten Commandments! (Compare Exodus 20 [God's revelation at Sinai] with Deuteronomy 5 [Moses' "second telling"]).
We learn that memory is never neutral. Neurobiologists show how the memories we access, and what our memories emphasize, tend to reflect our emotions and neural associations.
Jewish spirituality knew that long ago – which is a big deal as the High Holy Days approach.
With Rosh Hashanah soon to appear on the distant horizon, what we remember of ourselves and others will shape our experience of the season.
Whom did we wrong and how? What character traits most need our critical gaze? What do we make of our flaws and foibles? How do we become ready to see them and repair them? What need we do to seek and accept forgiveness from others? What need we do to seek and accept forgiveness from ourselves? What freight do we carry from others who wronged us? Did we play a part? Is our judgment of others fully accurate? Do we stoke and ferment hurts inside us?
These "Season of Meaning" questions depend on our memory, exposing them to a deep truth: memory arranges itself partly based on how we feel, what we value, how we behave.
Spiritually, it's probably too much to say, in the words of essayist Anaïs Nin, that "we see the world not how it is but how we are." After all, there is at least some objective truth!
That said, we humans tend to be most judgey about what sticks to our own inner landscape. The flaws in others that most hold our focus and memory might be most accessible to us because we ourselves possess those very flaws. As Talmud puts it (B.T. Kiddushin 70b), "All who disqualify another [spiritually] do so from their own flaw," and (B.T. Berakhot 55b), "We see" – in our dreams and in our vision – the thoughts of our own hearts."
In Jewish tradition, the prophet whose lens was clearest was Moses (B.T. Yevamot 49b) – but Deuteronomy teaches that not even Moses had perfect recall. Even his vision saw reflections of his own emotions, character, loves and losses shaping the accuracy of his memory.
As for Moses, so for each of us. But this can be a feature, not a bug. If we are wise, this truth can greatly empower our journey into the Season of Meaning.
How? What if we let our vision be like a mirror, reflecting back to us not just what we see but also how we see? What if we gently shift our gaze to look dispassionately at just that – our own vision, how we see the world, the judgments we make, the flaws in others we're most likely to notice? What might we learn about ourselves? How might our own hearts soften to some of the sharper memories and achiest hurts we carry deep inside?
What might we see that we didn't see before?
Parashat Devarim 5786 (2026)
Torah's final book fulfills its English title: Deuter-(second) -onomy (telling). Deuteronomy is Moses' "second telling" of the 40-year journey to the Promised Land now nearly complete. Moses recaps what happened along the way, giving the people his final charge – and rebukes for their penchant to act out.
But Moses' "second telling" did not repeat with perfect accuracy what came before.
What happened before didn't quite happen as Moses says now. Compared to his younger days, the Moses of Deuteronomy toggles between more bitter and more loving, more angry and more forgiving. Moses' shifting inner lenses color his recall, so his "second telling" shifts his narrative of what happened before. Moses even subtly changes the Ten Commandments! (Compare Exodus 20 [God's revelation at Sinai] with Deuteronomy 5 [Moses' "second telling"]).
We learn that memory is never neutral. Neurobiologists show how the memories we access, and what our memories emphasize, tend to reflect our emotions and neural associations.
Jewish spirituality knew that long ago – which is a big deal as the High Holy Days approach.
With Rosh Hashanah soon to appear on the distant horizon, what we remember of ourselves and others will shape our experience of the season.
Whom did we wrong and how? What character traits most need our critical gaze? What do we make of our flaws and foibles? How do we become ready to see them and repair them? What need we do to seek and accept forgiveness from others? What need we do to seek and accept forgiveness from ourselves? What freight do we carry from others who wronged us? Did we play a part? Is our judgment of others fully accurate? Do we stoke and ferment hurts inside us?
These "Season of Meaning" questions depend on our memory, exposing them to a deep truth: memory arranges itself partly based on how we feel, what we value, how we behave.
Spiritually, it's probably too much to say, in the words of essayist Anaïs Nin, that "we see the world not how it is but how we are." After all, there is at least some objective truth!
That said, we humans tend to be most judgey about what sticks to our own inner landscape. The flaws in others that most hold our focus and memory might be most accessible to us because we ourselves possess those very flaws. As Talmud puts it (B.T. Kiddushin 70b), "All who disqualify another [spiritually] do so from their own flaw," and (B.T. Berakhot 55b), "We see" – in our dreams and in our vision – the thoughts of our own hearts."
In Jewish tradition, the prophet whose lens was clearest was Moses (B.T. Yevamot 49b) – but Deuteronomy teaches that not even Moses had perfect recall. Even his vision saw reflections of his own emotions, character, loves and losses shaping the accuracy of his memory.
As for Moses, so for each of us. But this can be a feature, not a bug. If we are wise, this truth can greatly empower our journey into the Season of Meaning.
How? What if we let our vision be like a mirror, reflecting back to us not just what we see but also how we see? What if we gently shift our gaze to look dispassionately at just that – our own vision, how we see the world, the judgments we make, the flaws in others we're most likely to notice? What might we learn about ourselves? How might our own hearts soften to some of the sharper memories and achiest hurts we carry deep inside?
What might we see that we didn't see before?
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